Excuses Are No Longer Good Enough!

Excuses are no longer a good enough reason why I don't or can't have what I want. Yes, being content with what I have is important and not to be taken for granted; however, as I reach for more from a place of celebration, it is no longer okay for me to put excuses between me and my goals/desires.

As some of you may know, I recently got engaged. That's right! I am engaged to the man of my dreams (for real) and have the added luxury of being on the receiving end of his fantasy of dream boy, as well. Lucky we are! And, he has taught me a valuable lesson: Not only do I get to enjoy and co-create one of the most amazing, loving and inspiring relationships I know of, but I now believe in myself that I can really create (co-create) what my heart desires.

Stay with me, check this out: I ran into an old friend who I haven't seen for awhile and upon mentioning my new engagement, he said, "Nick James you truly deserve it more than anyone I know, for you have been talking about true love for as long as I have known you." Wow, what a shock, I have!? I guess so, here's what I got from our conversation: You really can have the life of your dreams, but you have to love yourself enough and believe you can create what you desire and you have all the power you need to do so.

I imagine most of us read that sentence and cringed, knowing we can, but never really giving ourselves full permission to dream big and actualize. So, if you can't believe in yourself, right now, take it from me: You can have and enjoy your heart's desire! I can recall years desiring for true love and now, I get to enjoy him and me to the fullest as I do so from a place of pure appreciation. I will never forget all the nights and days I wished for love and my number one actually came true.

So, if I can create this, what else can I create? And that's the invitation I offer to you! But guess what, here's the catch: You're already demonstrating huge amounts of power to create, you're results are showing you so. So, whether it's true love or the lack of, having millions of dollars or none at all, you're current results are showing you you're current unconscious commitments. Simply own, reclaim, feeling your feelings and re-direct your energy and intentions to what does feel good and what you desire.

I know, at this point, it's no longer enough for me to put anything but love between me and my partner, that same is true with all of my other goals and desires... here is the magic of everyday living illustrated – take the invitation. Simply make a commitment to being excuse-free, to no longer putting anything but love and celebration between you and your heart's desires.

Where are you? From React to Respond!

Where are you? I'm right here! Well, it seems like part of you is missing.

I asked myself this question earlier this morning when thinking about my "come from" or "posture," in life. As it seems, I've lost myself in so many ways, having given my power away to the economy, my phone provider, my clients - even my partner. I have been allowing myself to be an up-and-down roller coaster of how-I-show-up-in-life based on others' moods and circumstances outside of my control.

Perhaps you have had a similar experience? Rather than responding to life from your core – from your truth – you find yourself reacting to life depending out what's going on around you?

I know, for me, growing up this was all to familiar; depending on how mom and dad were feeling determined how I expressed myself and my behavior. In fact, I see how I'm needing to update my story, as I continue to show up in the world, today, as I did if I were "in trouble" as a child.

I have set my life up so that I side-step the possibility of rejection or failure. I recoil into a smaller version of me, because I feel scared that if I showed up in life – just as I am – as my full self that I would scare the pants out of half the world and/or the other half would flinch in utter disgust.

Funny, I know, but consider how you may have played this out in your own life. How have you withheld an important fact or truth your partner should know or avoided facing into specific situations (I.e., calling your local politician or bill collector) to express yourself or clean up any mess you might have created?

Today, I commit to facing into life as it is, feeling any discomfort I may have and take full responsibility for how I show up in life. The classroom is yours as much as it is mine, today I invite you to express yourself fully, even if for 5-minutes. The reward - total satisfaction.

What If... (continued)

On the path to enjoying the life of your dreams, there is one thing you can do to guarantee complete disaster: Obsess about the things that when you check into your body, just don't feel good to obsess about.

For example, say you're current favorite fascination or obsession is money (or the lack of). By remaining in the judgment and story that you have enough (or not), you keep yourself from actually having a different experience. You literally don't have any room in your body or current story to receive more of the good you might say you want. Its as if we decide that life is a certain way (I.e., I don't have enough money) and by running this script through our minds, over and over, we produce the exact results we say we don't want.

I now see enjoying the life of my dreams as me allowing myself to simply be open and receive. By reminding myself, I might not know everything, I get to be curious how I might actually have a different experience. Once again, here's the power of fun and wonder at work.

In the past, I have caught myself playing out what I call "The Triangle Game" (villain, victim, hero roles) with money. I have found myself arguing for my limitations with money and how I "just don't have enough." Well... as the saying goes: "If you think you can or can't, either way you're right." And so it is with enjoying the life of our dreams, if we aren't open to another option (or don't see that we have one) we'll continue to play out the same story over again, until at some point we either hit a wall and forced to look within or choose so with curiosity.

In regards to money, the best thing you can do is simply ask yourself: If I wasn't obsessing about how little money I had, what would I be doing with my time?

And the answer to that question is the exact thing that will assist you in producing more money than you can imagine while in the obsession. At this point in the game, I believe that when we're anywhere but in "the flow" or "creative open space" we're closed off to all the love, money and joy we say we want and yet, work so hard to create. It's as if we've been doing life backwards... talk about swimming up stream.

Today, my invitation, ask yourself some very important, bold questions:

1) What am I currently obsessing about?

2) What would I be doing if I wasn't obsessing about this?

Extra Credit:

3) How do I feel in my body as I read all this? Is there any truth in these words? What body sensations am I experiencing, right now, in regards to money? Am I willing to love and forgive myself for my current or past experience with money? Am I open to a new experience with money? If I had all the money I wanted and needed, what would I be doing today?

Good Luck. You have all that you will ever need!

Field of Dreams

Recently, I realized my number one wish in life is to play ball with another man in a genuine, conscious, lasting, loving, fun and fulfilling relationship. However, today, I see that I still need to build my field.

In the last year, through many situations, I've been playing on dirt, thinking a good ball game is what I've been doing, but really I've only been distracting myself from building the field of my dreams. I've been playing in a sandlot, wishing my stadium was building itself.

Today, I toss to you: What is it going to take for you to build the field of your dreams? Where have you gotten off track, playing ball in an empty, unbuilt lot? Today, what do you need to do to pick up the shovel and start laying your foundation?

When you build it, they will come. Faith is a good friend to have.

Does it ever end?

Does the journey inwards ever end? I have found myself in the midst of drama again, created by me, and yet I say I want peace and love. I think best, in any moment of doubt, just love yourself.

If Thoughts Create Things...

If thoughts create things, then what are you creating today?

Have you ever caught yourself in a flurry of worry thoughts about what you need to do or how to generate more money in your life, doing what you love?

I recently heard that the average human think 65,000 per day, but only %5 of those thoughts are brand new and original. Most of what we think (if we're average) is recycled thoughts from yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

So, what are you thinking about today? Make it count!

A Sneak Peek To The ARC Of Freedom!

As you may know, I'm always up to new and creative projects. This time I've joined forces with singer/song-writer and Life Coach Mary Tebbs to form what we're calling The Appreciation Circle... and it's dope! (Dope is slang for really cool).

In my own words, its trend-setting group therapy with a twist, mixed with the latest tools in transformation and The Art of Manifesting. Set up as a community support program, The Appreciation Circle is a demonstration of our commitment to inspiring others to take on life consciously and with joy.

However, during one of my late night walks, last night, I thought of this genius idea that can potentially be a handout (worksheet) for anyone who attends our weekly group... its called The ARC of Freedom, Manifesting and Living Life Joyously. And today, I share it with you, as a sneak peek of the great things to come.

So, are you ready? Hold your britches, this could revolutionize your approach to living!

A - Appreciation - "What can you genuinely appreciate right now or about this moment?"

R - Responsibility - "What is... is, based on results. Are you willing to claim 100% responsibility for finding yourself in this situation and own your subconscious mind revealed?"

C - Commitment - "When you're ready, make a new commitment to what you want."

So, what showed up for you? Did you take the toss? Or did you judge this process and yourself? Did you find one thing to genuinely appreciate in your life, right now? Are you finding it challenging to own the fact that you're here, in whatever situation you’re in? Are you willing to make a conscious commitment to what you want, rather than hoping it'll happen or wandering around waiting for something different?

I end with the words of Gay Hendricks, a riddle for you to ponder today in The Funiverse: "You don't have to dig very deep to see what's in your sub-conscious, for it's showing up all around you." I say, "feel your feelings and make a new commitment, begin with appreciation."

Feedback is Just Feedback.

Ironic that after my recent post, Poop with Ice Cream on Top, I ran into a long-time friend who is involved in some "serious" spiritual practices. Upon asking him what he's been up to and after some deep revealing, my dear friend shared with me a lot of people are asking him, "why are you so angry?" Mind you dear reader, my friend, as he so eloquently put it, "is not an angry person!"

So, what's the catch? You got, a big fish story!

My response was simple, "it's just feedback." However, my words fell upon deaf ears, which is not new in the world of Funiverse, but sometimes I do feel disappointed that we often overlook what's right in front of our faces. Of course, this has nothing to do with others, but my own experience; however, I share this with you for obvious reasons: stop overlooking the obvious!

It's just feedback. Whatever is showing up, from your bank account to how your partner responds to you is just feedback. Other examples include: your health, what people say to you, your relationship status, your feelings, how you react and how you spend your time. Everything is feedback, everything!

However, rather than getting curious about what's showing up and seeing if there might be some opportunity to excel, we often get defensive by explaining, blaming, stonewalling, justifying, withdrawing or checking out; therefore, prolonging the learning and lesson until one day life wakes us up with a 2x4.

Here at Funiverse, it's about being willing to be open the fact that you might just be angry... and that's okay! That you can be both spiritual, loving, fun and angry all at the same time, without needing a reason or explanation why... it just is for the time being.

Are you willing to shift out of defensiveness into genuine curiosity by opening yourself to learning from all that is showing up in your life?

I sure hope so! I'd like to see everyone take on the commitment to learning from every interaction and life experience and I feel sad when my friends hide behind of wall of spirituality or democratic pose. Join the fun bus; it's just feedback. In fact, you're the driver!

Poop with Ice Cream on Top!

The question is: How many times have your used laughter and light-heartedness to take yourself out of the situation or distract from actually having the experience you're having? How many times have you "tried to make it fun," when really, talking about unpleasant feelings or facing into your biggest fear, isn't that enjoyable?

Sometimes, life sucks! Arguable, but part of having fun is empowering yourself through facing into what is and having a new experience, rather than running around your problems using fun, laughter and spiritual psycho-babble to evade the opportunity to excel.

I had an awareness this week surrounding all the ways I use fun and play as a tool to defend and therefore, take my authenticity, my real feelings and ultimately, myself out of the situations that I find challenging to face and do directly. I avoid life by using humor, pop-psychology and spirituality to avoid all the feedback that's here.

So, I guess the sweetheart message in all this: I have found really creative ways, like fun and play to avoid feeling inadequate and useless. Wow! I have been thinking I can't have fun and be real at the same time; I have been thinking I have to "be perfect" before I can start living. It's like pretending everything is great, when I can't even pay my bills on time. Oh yes, this is familiar!

Today, I commit to a big AND in my relationship with reality and having fun. I commit to seeing life as it really is and using fun as a tool to empower myself back into responsibility by getting curious about the results I am creating, today. Either way, putting ice cream on poop is still poop with ice cream on top.

4 Keys to Having Fun (Part 3 - in Charge)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 2 - in Charge

"I think every individual has his or her own power, and it's a matter of working, taking time and defining what that power is." – Jill Scott

If you have been following me on this safari of exploring the Dynamics of Fun, you would know, it has taken me over a month to report any sort of substantial footage on this tiger. In Charge, is by far the most challenging of the 4-part series to capture, but we’re not out of the jungle yet.

Reporting live from planet earth, this is Nick James sharing with you the dynamics of feeling in charge. Following up the discovery of Curiosity and Competence, in Charge is the next step in evolution on the pathway to having fun. In Charge is about owning your inherent power as a human being and living the commitment of being the source of full responsibility for your life.

In Charge/Control = 100 % responsibility.

In Charge is clever, for at any moment you get to choose whether you’re in charge or not. You, and only you have the power to choose at what point you’re in control. Think about that for a minute! You use choice to choose you’re the one at choice of who is in charge in your choosing, and by result, who is in charge of your life.

In every moment you’re creating and whether you’re willing to be conscious of this or not, is your choice. However, from my experience in the jungle, it is highly recommended that you begin by making a commitment to being 100% responsible for your life, including your happiness, well-being and life goals. For the moment, you finally let yourself be the source of your reality; you expand beyond your previous thermometer of having fun.

Start today with a commitment and see where it takes you, and as my boss and motivational speaker Megan Sillito says, “Surprise Yourself!”

I commit to becoming the source of full responsibility for my life, including my happiness, my well-being and my life-goals actualizing.

There Is No Plan B For Life!

I was caught in a flurry of thought, when suddenly I took a deep breath and realized I was writing up the strategies for Plan B, when not fully participating in Plan A. To be specific, this was playing out in a relationship dynamic I am currently enjoying where rather than focusing all of my energy in my current commitments with my partner, I was writing up a back-door plan, just in case it doesn’t work out and therefore, setting myself up for inevitable failure.

I have been living in “what if,” as opposed to “what is.”

Obviously, I’m afraid and rather than facing my fear directly and with love, I have been distracting myself from my desired result by protecting myself from possible failure without even giving myself a chance to succeed. Oh, how is this ever familiar?

Although this is showing up in relationship, for me, I see how this plays out in every other aspect of life. The invitation: Get in or get out; make a choice to play the game of life fully and follow through into completion. As humans, most of us haven’t intentionally chosen to be here, consciously. Unless we have memory of our previous experience before birth, we tend to feel like we were just spit out on the planet to make it up as we go without a road map.

As a result, most of us haven’t made a conscious new choice to be here and clear up anything in the way of our ability to do so; therefore, we are spending a healthy dose of time in Plan B… whatever that may, depending on your particular flavor. We half-ass our way through life and every activity included instead of really showing up, even if it might be uncomfortable at times. Life is not about Plan B, in fact, there is no Plan B… just Plan A or all the distractions we engage in that keep us from fully enjoying the game of life.

Try this: "I consciously choose to be here and to be alive. "

Or not, but living in limbo isn't very useful. Either way, empower yourself by acknowledging where you are, today, and get clear about where and how you want to play. Then make the choice!

Love Remains the Same.

In response to one of my favorite songs by Blaze, Love Remains the Same, I felt inspired to share my latest learnings in romance and love.

That even in our closest relationships, we as individuals need to remain ourselves. Commonly spoken, yet consider this: If there is no you to relate with, than who is your partner going to make a connection with?

Said differently: If you have lost yourself in relationship, there can be no movement in relating because you need both partners for connection.

I found myself this last weekend, making a certain relationship really complex and in the end it came down to this simple fact: For the majority of my life I have been making my partners responsible for my happiness and livelihood. For as long as I can remember, I have been waiting for another person to "show up," until I can finally start living.

I have been living in "when," rather than "how."

So today, my dear friend, I toss to you: What magical condition are you waiting for that will finally give you the authority to create your life by design? And a more responsible way to put it: How can you give yourself permission today to create your life as you would like it, without waiting for an external change to occur? Try starting inside.

Today: I commit to celebrating my life and myself while having a blast.

Either way, Love Remains the Same.

Title: Limitation Lawyer

Today, I give myself a new title: Limitation Lawyer. The firm I work for is fantastic and we are always looking for new clients; however, for the time being, our primary client is using all our services to capacity.

His name: Nick James.

I was having a conversation with a friend in which he proclaimed, "...well, that's just the way I have always been." As I presenced my fear with him, I had to take a good look at myself and ask: "in what ways have used this excuse for the results I want to create in my life?"

First off, I know what you're thinking, "get better friends," Right? Maybe, but it's congruent today! What I've got in my life, right now, is certain people allergic to change. Obviously I am among great company; on some level I have used these same motives in my defense.

As Gay Hendricks teaches, "you don't have to go inside to find your unconscious, for it's all around you," based on results, I am more committed to making excuses why I can't have the things I want, than actually having the things I say I want. From money, romance and even having more fun; I have a bible-size of justifications and explainations for why I can't have the sort of life I want. That's a lot of fear!

...and how about you? Are you a great defense counsel in your own life? Furthermore, how have you defended yourself, rather than just face your fear directly? What issue most wants your attention today? Take it on!

Finally, I am willing to accept that I argue for my limitations! Yeah!