Enough is Enough

Ever have one of those days, where you feel like a total victim? You know the kind, where it feels like life is unfair and the only thing you feel like doing is to call up a friend and bitch. Well, I say bitch away, but my hope is you're also interested in having a different experience too. A radically new kind of experience where you know that life is your creation and a game to be played. Full out... if you choose to take the invitation.

These moments, I'm speaking about, no matter how "hard" they may seem are perfect opportunities to see where you still feel like you don't have a choice in the matter. The painful moments of life are the times it's most valuable to see where you're still playing small. Where you see the complaints of life as opportunities to commit to something better.

Let me be the first to tell you: You always have a choice. Always! And no matter how "hard" it gets or how "easy" it is to defend your point of view, it comes down to a really simple fact: Stop putting yourself in those situations that cause you the most pain. Stop running into the fist.

Today, I had one of those experiences. And with that, the pain has gotten so intense, that I've had to wake up and ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" And I say, what a great question to be asking. Why? For the simple fact, when we wake up and realize we are the only person that has control over our destiny, we give ourselves a chance to actually have a good life.

Life is good and whether it be love, money or having a fun time, you are always at choice as to how you experience yourself and which situations you put yourself in. Today, I'm doing something radically different, I'm walking away from the situations that cause me the most pain and having a heart-to-heart talk with myself about why I think I'm less than what I really deserve. Today, I commit to seeing what and who deserves my love, attention and affection. Starting with myself.

Today, put down the defense and find enough love in yourself to get more fascinated with the possibilities of life, rather than the dead ends.

I Commit To Being Happy!

Recently, I keep getting this non-stop feedback, I'm not happy with some certain things in my life. Shock, I know, but at first, it was subtle. A sort of whisper about my current situation, but now it's a loud, "wake up!" I have been running around, now, for a couple of weeks, looking for a "good" day-job. You know, the sort of 9-5, with freedom to come and go whenever and making the right amount of money that satisfy your needs?

Well, if not, let me tell you, the first step was taking 100% responsibility for my finances and life. I woke up one day and realized, I'm not on the path I want to be on, I'm not making money in a way that feels good, anymore. So, I'm back to the "daily-grind," looking for work in all the wrong places. But are they?

I would have to say, "yes" and "no." A job is a job, despite how you look at it, but a dream is a dream and making your dreams come true requires a good foundation to work from. I've been living the lifestyle of a rockstar without the record label to back me up. Call me a natural, but ultimately, this week I realized there's more to life than work and money. I've been looking for a job to make me happy, to get my ends met and fuel the career of my dreams. However, I've been doing way to much "doing" and not very much "being."

Today, I commit to being happy.

Today, I commit being happy, so that when I do get a day job, I have things in perspective. My job isn't my life source, I am. The money I make isn't my happiness, I am. Therefore, as I go to my day job, continue to work on the release of my new book and set course to enjoying the life of my dreams, I'm very well prepared by starting today. I commit to being happy!

First and foremost, everything else comes next.

Lead With Love

What would happen if you lead with love and appreciation today?

I imagine there's more to say about it than that, but for now, let's sit with it, or better yet, let's act with it by leading with appreciation and love today in all that we do. I challenge you.

to be continued...

Choice is Power

As you may or may not know, I have been working on my first book since last summer. Nearly complete, this piece of work is a milestone for me as the completion of the book resembles me taking authority for my own independence, both financially and in my vocation as an author, speaker, coach and creative consultant.

I share this with you as I come upon an awareness that will surely reconstruct my world...

I'm 100% responsible for my income, career and success.

Although my "day" job is a fine line between living my genius and supporting others in their career and genius, today I realized, it is time for me to own my own authority around my success, income and choice vocation, for (as you may know) waiting for another person to do it for you (and me) is not being at choice, which is what we're all about here at Funiverse.

Being at choice as to how you experience life. Today, I hope you take your own power back and make it a commitment to being 100% responsible for your success and income:

Today, I __________ commit to being 100% responsible for my income, career and success!

If Thoughts Create Things...

If thoughts create things, then what are you creating today?

Have you ever caught yourself in a flurry of worry thoughts about what you need to do or how to generate more money in your life, doing what you love?

I recently heard that the average human think 65,000 per day, but only %5 of those thoughts are brand new and original. Most of what we think (if we're average) is recycled thoughts from yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

So, what are you thinking about today? Make it count!

From Entitlement To Appreciation

I caught myself again. As I was complaining about my current financial situation, I noticed that I was coming from a place of “you owe me!” I’m not sure who the “you” is in that statement, but it was pretty apparent that belief is running the show.

Even more, I’ve noticed this claim to ownership show up in my relationship, time and time again. I get more caught up in the “you should know” and “I deserve/blame-game” than genuine appreciation for how my partner is available, expresses love and cares about me.

So, is this familiar, dear reader?

Have you ever found yourself claiming entitlement for what you want or what you have?

If you’re conscious of it or not, I would get curious. How have you been keeping yourself at arms length from genuine love or financial freedom? Have you fully claimed 100% responsibility for what you do have and your current life experiences? Have you considered appreciation as an option for getting more of the things you say you want?

Today, I commit to appreciating my life as it is, reaching for more from a place of gratitude.

Try it on, you’ve got nothing to lose but to have even more fun.

It's Not Your Birthday, So What!

Your day begins...

And did you celebrate yourself for being alive to have a day to begin? This morning, as I got up, I thought to myself, "Today, I have a choice. I can either celebrate my life the way it is today, what I like and don't like, or continue to wait for another temporary fix of external happiness to pacify me until I claim my own happiness, from the inside out. What's it going to be?"

And I share this with you, dear reader:

Are you willing to celebrate yourself today, just as you are?

Are you willing to celebrate "the good" and "the bad" as equals?

Are you willing to celebrate any unwillingness you may have to celebrate?

As you know, life is happening; are you seeing it as life is living you or you are living life? Today, take a couple of deep breaths and throw yourself a 30-second party that you're here, alive and the only thing between you, what you want, what you enjoy and a moment of bliss is yourself. Get out of your way and let yourself shine. Stop being your own shadow and celebrate yourself today - even for a minute.

Does All That Personal Development Pay Off?

Recently, a friend of a friend coined me as a "New Age Nightmare." At first, I felt sad and went to my usual place of "I'm not enough... I need more self-help to improve upon my current character." Well... that's a little exaggerated, but I did take his comment as feedback. Am I really caught up in a world of illusion, like Disneyland, where fun is only a choice away?

As I thought about this... my first response was, "I am creating the life of my dreams!" Yes, I have to admit, sometimes I get a little obsessive about my own personal development, but at the end of the day, are my results showing my hard work is paying off?

In the last two weeks, I can see how 3-years of intense inner-work is starting to pay off. From stepping more fully in my role with LifeWorks to enjoying a conscious, loving relationship with a man I adore, who adores me... looks like I'm doing pretty good. Considering where I was over 3-year ago, I've come a long way, but only until recently have I see physical matches to my inner change.

So, my dear reader... where have you not given yourself enough credit that you're very well on your way to the success of your liking? Where have you, maybe, gotten off track from your vision and life dreams?

Try it on, be willing to give yourself a chance at actually creating what you really want. From experience, looks like a nightmare can be transformed into living the life of your dreams! Choose again.

Did You Forget? You're Alive!

Have you ever forgotten that you're alive? Have you ever been so caught up in the details and dramas of life, only to forget that one day, you aren't going to be here anymore? These questions came to me when trying to describe the M.O. of a couple of people in my life.

I have made a commitment to learning from every relationship interaction, and such, results in learning from those in my world that I don't want to be like. As I was describing to a friend how I felt when interacting with some other friends, I noticed this sort of entitlement over appreciation with them and in that moment, I got the hit: I think they forget that life is a gift. Now, whether that's true or not, I took this awareness as feedback for myself. I get to own my appreciation for being alive and take advantage of the day to express such joy.

And... this is my toss to you:

Are you willing to see life as a gift and appreciate your life, today?

The Dam Thing is Built... Enjoy it!

How many times have you set out to create something in your life to enjoy a specific quality, only to find yourself working twice as hard for the result you want? How many times have you set out to build a dam to enjoy the result of swimming in the reservoir, only to find yourself still working on the dam and never get in the water?

Have you ever stopped yourself, arm and hammer, and looked up to see if you're project is complete? To see that maybe you have already arrived, at your chosen destination?

"Isn't time that you jump in and enjoy the water?" my sweet boyfriend, Mauricio, said to me tonight as we were discussing the topic of enjoying the things I have already built. More specifically, this analogy was used in describing how I do relationship. But remember: how you do one thing is how you do everything, and boy... did I get that statement today!

I find myself trying really hard and working on things that no longer need me working on, but just enjoying. From relationship to my awesome job, part of me is still on square one, when actually, in the present, I'm on step-10. I find myself trying really hard to convince both my partner and my co-workers that I am worth being here, rather than seeing that they have been telling me that from the beginning: that I'm totally worth playing with.

So, what's the joke? Address the fear of "not being enough, I don't deserve or I'm unlovable" by feeling it openly and fully and then get on enjoying what I've already built for myself. As I am in the process of exploring the other side of The Law of Attraction, this topic of taking pleasure in what is, feels very congruent. What you focus on expands and what you don't own, owns you! So, as I feel my fear and enjoy all the great things I have already manifested, I anticipate my life only getting better.

For you my dear reader, try it on:

1) How have you already created what it is you're seeking, in your life?
2) What fear may be underneath trying so hard in the areas you are?
3) Last, what can you appreciate about yourself and your life today?

Have A Blast Being Spiritual!

The one question often overlooked with those seeking enlightenment or personal development is "how good can you stand it?" Perhaps, the most important question to be asking is often the last to be addressed and falls between the book shelfs of self-help books. Well, why would one be asking such a question? Let's start there.

What does it mean, "how good can you stand it?" How about this: how good can you stand feeling good and for how long? How good can you stand having fun, without distracting yourself with another serious meditation or a process to fix another spiritual riddle? How about we start our conscious journey off right, go for the goal and whatever happens on the way is just part of the process?

I had this insight, one night, while talking to a fellow seeker of conscious living. We were discussing his intentions for this year (2008) and what he would like to experience as a measurable result by the end. However, he kept mentioning his interest in clearing up anything in the way of his ability to be more spiritual. And my next question, "but why?"

What does being more spiritual do for you? And this question I toss to you dear reader: what does being more anything do for you? What does having more do for you? What is the ultimate result? What is the measurable result you want? From work goals to relationship creation, what is the ultimate goal you want to enjoy?

Before asking yourself such questions, maybe take a Saturday night to go dancing and genuinely have a blast and then ask yourself such questions. Ask from a place of already answering them. If you don't like dancing, then try on the following commitment and see if it brings about some revelation. (Especially, you spiritual seekers!)

I commit to having a blast while enjoying my body and the divine!

Feedback is Just Feedback.

Ironic that after my recent post, Poop with Ice Cream on Top, I ran into a long-time friend who is involved in some "serious" spiritual practices. Upon asking him what he's been up to and after some deep revealing, my dear friend shared with me a lot of people are asking him, "why are you so angry?" Mind you dear reader, my friend, as he so eloquently put it, "is not an angry person!"

So, what's the catch? You got, a big fish story!

My response was simple, "it's just feedback." However, my words fell upon deaf ears, which is not new in the world of Funiverse, but sometimes I do feel disappointed that we often overlook what's right in front of our faces. Of course, this has nothing to do with others, but my own experience; however, I share this with you for obvious reasons: stop overlooking the obvious!

It's just feedback. Whatever is showing up, from your bank account to how your partner responds to you is just feedback. Other examples include: your health, what people say to you, your relationship status, your feelings, how you react and how you spend your time. Everything is feedback, everything!

However, rather than getting curious about what's showing up and seeing if there might be some opportunity to excel, we often get defensive by explaining, blaming, stonewalling, justifying, withdrawing or checking out; therefore, prolonging the learning and lesson until one day life wakes us up with a 2x4.

Here at Funiverse, it's about being willing to be open the fact that you might just be angry... and that's okay! That you can be both spiritual, loving, fun and angry all at the same time, without needing a reason or explanation why... it just is for the time being.

Are you willing to shift out of defensiveness into genuine curiosity by opening yourself to learning from all that is showing up in your life?

I sure hope so! I'd like to see everyone take on the commitment to learning from every interaction and life experience and I feel sad when my friends hide behind of wall of spirituality or democratic pose. Join the fun bus; it's just feedback. In fact, you're the driver!

Poop with Ice Cream on Top!

The question is: How many times have your used laughter and light-heartedness to take yourself out of the situation or distract from actually having the experience you're having? How many times have you "tried to make it fun," when really, talking about unpleasant feelings or facing into your biggest fear, isn't that enjoyable?

Sometimes, life sucks! Arguable, but part of having fun is empowering yourself through facing into what is and having a new experience, rather than running around your problems using fun, laughter and spiritual psycho-babble to evade the opportunity to excel.

I had an awareness this week surrounding all the ways I use fun and play as a tool to defend and therefore, take my authenticity, my real feelings and ultimately, myself out of the situations that I find challenging to face and do directly. I avoid life by using humor, pop-psychology and spirituality to avoid all the feedback that's here.

So, I guess the sweetheart message in all this: I have found really creative ways, like fun and play to avoid feeling inadequate and useless. Wow! I have been thinking I can't have fun and be real at the same time; I have been thinking I have to "be perfect" before I can start living. It's like pretending everything is great, when I can't even pay my bills on time. Oh yes, this is familiar!

Today, I commit to a big AND in my relationship with reality and having fun. I commit to seeing life as it really is and using fun as a tool to empower myself back into responsibility by getting curious about the results I am creating, today. Either way, putting ice cream on poop is still poop with ice cream on top.

4 Keys to Having Fun (Part 3 - in Charge)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 2 - in Charge

"I think every individual has his or her own power, and it's a matter of working, taking time and defining what that power is." – Jill Scott

If you have been following me on this safari of exploring the Dynamics of Fun, you would know, it has taken me over a month to report any sort of substantial footage on this tiger. In Charge, is by far the most challenging of the 4-part series to capture, but we’re not out of the jungle yet.

Reporting live from planet earth, this is Nick James sharing with you the dynamics of feeling in charge. Following up the discovery of Curiosity and Competence, in Charge is the next step in evolution on the pathway to having fun. In Charge is about owning your inherent power as a human being and living the commitment of being the source of full responsibility for your life.

In Charge/Control = 100 % responsibility.

In Charge is clever, for at any moment you get to choose whether you’re in charge or not. You, and only you have the power to choose at what point you’re in control. Think about that for a minute! You use choice to choose you’re the one at choice of who is in charge in your choosing, and by result, who is in charge of your life.

In every moment you’re creating and whether you’re willing to be conscious of this or not, is your choice. However, from my experience in the jungle, it is highly recommended that you begin by making a commitment to being 100% responsible for your life, including your happiness, well-being and life goals. For the moment, you finally let yourself be the source of your reality; you expand beyond your previous thermometer of having fun.

Start today with a commitment and see where it takes you, and as my boss and motivational speaker Megan Sillito says, “Surprise Yourself!”

I commit to becoming the source of full responsibility for my life, including my happiness, my well-being and my life-goals actualizing.

Feeling Good Is The Ultimate In Living.

Feeling good is the ultimate in living. How do you figure? If you were to rate your aliveness on a scale of 1 to 10, where would you place yourself? What would determine your number on the scale? Is it what you ate for lunch? What someone else said to you? Does it depend on how many hours of sleep you got last night? Or is it perhaps, a choice?

Actually, a commitment! Well, what does that mean? From complaint to commitment is the name of this game. If I was to rate myself a 2 on the aliveness scale, the first question I would be asking myself is, "I wonder how I can enjoy more aliveness in myself and my life, today?"

And this question, I toss to you: Where would you rate yourself on the aliveness scale (or excited to feel alive) right now? Second, are you happy with your current results? And what would it take for you to rate yourself higher on the scale of aliveness?

Either way, the number you pick on scale is irrelevant, what is more important is how good do you feel, about yourself and life, in this moment? And if you're not exactly pleased with your current experience of reality, then go ahead and make a commitment to feel good. Do yourself a big favor and make a conscious, new commitment to feeling good and having fun, right here!

Despite the story of your life, how you experience it is your responsibility. It's a lot to take on, by just being here, but if your life is worth it, its your choice. Get a better problem and make how good can you feel and for how long your highest virtue.

Be willing to try on the commitment like you would a new pair of jeans, if they don't fit, you just try on another pair. At least you gave yourself a chance at feeling good and being courageous enough to try on something most people think is just child's play, when in actuality, could be the greatest commitment you ever made.

Today, I commit to feeling good and having fun and to doing so in the face of all that might distract me from really enjoying myself!

Life Purpose is Like a Flowerpot!

Have you ever wondered, "is there a reason why I'm here?" I bet you have and it might be too forward for me to assume such questions have wandered through your mind, but I imagine you have had some version of that question come up at least once in your life.

So, have you got an answer? Have you discovered your life purpose and chosen to live it out? If so, good for you, I love the ripple your making here on the planet! In fact, I would encourage anyone living their purpose to go further and really expand into it this year, maybe even get some good life coaching to assist you in expanding your income doing what you love.

If not, to the question, "are you living your life purpose?," then let's talk for a minute. What's up? I imagine if you're reading this, you're at least out of high school and are in some sort of career job or schooling as a career, but why wouldn't you be investing as much time as you work (or the lack of) on discovering and living your life purpose?

Having been working almost a year with Dream Building Genius Coach, Megan Sillito, I can say that even though I haven't fully landed on dialing in what my life purpose is, I feel more excited about life today, than I did a year ago. Why? Well, just like initial question to this Blog post, the reason I am here is more clear today than ever and only I get to determine that. It is my responsibility to humanity to live my purpose!

I have the first layer of my flowerpot made, talk about going green!

There Is No Plan B For Life!

I was caught in a flurry of thought, when suddenly I took a deep breath and realized I was writing up the strategies for Plan B, when not fully participating in Plan A. To be specific, this was playing out in a relationship dynamic I am currently enjoying where rather than focusing all of my energy in my current commitments with my partner, I was writing up a back-door plan, just in case it doesn’t work out and therefore, setting myself up for inevitable failure.

I have been living in “what if,” as opposed to “what is.”

Obviously, I’m afraid and rather than facing my fear directly and with love, I have been distracting myself from my desired result by protecting myself from possible failure without even giving myself a chance to succeed. Oh, how is this ever familiar?

Although this is showing up in relationship, for me, I see how this plays out in every other aspect of life. The invitation: Get in or get out; make a choice to play the game of life fully and follow through into completion. As humans, most of us haven’t intentionally chosen to be here, consciously. Unless we have memory of our previous experience before birth, we tend to feel like we were just spit out on the planet to make it up as we go without a road map.

As a result, most of us haven’t made a conscious new choice to be here and clear up anything in the way of our ability to do so; therefore, we are spending a healthy dose of time in Plan B… whatever that may, depending on your particular flavor. We half-ass our way through life and every activity included instead of really showing up, even if it might be uncomfortable at times. Life is not about Plan B, in fact, there is no Plan B… just Plan A or all the distractions we engage in that keep us from fully enjoying the game of life.

Try this: "I consciously choose to be here and to be alive. "

Or not, but living in limbo isn't very useful. Either way, empower yourself by acknowledging where you are, today, and get clear about where and how you want to play. Then make the choice!

4-Keys to Having Fun (Part 2 - Competence)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 2 - Competence

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” - Joseph Campbell

A satisfied sense of fulfillment fancies itself upon you when you feel competent in and about yourself. When you feel capable and good about who/what you are, you cultivate a space for fun to flourish in your life.

According to Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs: “…confidence, competence and achievement only need one person and everyone else is inconsequential to one's own success. It may be noted, however, that many people with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept themselves internally.”

When you accept yourself and your life, just as it is today, you become a conduit for success and fun to become an active part of your daily adventures. Your willingness to feel competent and get comfortable with the uncomfortabe will help you build trust in yourself and guide you to having fun and feeling good.

Thus, comfortable with yourself = having fun.

Start here: "Am I willing to love and accept myself, today?"

4-Keys to Having Fun (Part 1 - Curiosity)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 1 - Curiosity

“The real trick to life is not to be in the know, but to be in the mystery.” - Fred Alan Wolf, Ph.D.

Beginning with wonder and a willingness to enjoy yourself, curiosity is an aspect of having fun by being open to new possibilities. Ultimately this comes down to choosing to be happy over being right. My good friend Chris Howard speaks of this in his work as a philanthropist for fun and evolution; in that we only need to be willing to ask ourselves, “How can I make this fun?”

Simplicity can’t be overstated with this one! By being open to a new experience and asking the question, “how can I make this fun?,” you give yourself the opportunity to either empower yourself into an original experience or continue to live the same story of the past. When you use curiosity, you begin to write a new story by simply asking such marvel questions and therefore, allowing yourself a chance to have fun.

Get curious and try it on today: "How can I make this fun?"

Turn Down The Volume

Earlier this week, I experienced what my friend calls "noise." Lots of it. So much that in the midst of it all, I forgot what was the point of doing what I was, in the first place.

I toss to you: Where do you need to turn down the volume a bit?

I rest into my day and enjoy the more mellow sound of surrender.