Excuses Are No Longer Good Enough!

Excuses are no longer a good enough reason why I don't or can't have what I want. Yes, being content with what I have is important and not to be taken for granted; however, as I reach for more from a place of celebration, it is no longer okay for me to put excuses between me and my goals/desires.

As some of you may know, I recently got engaged. That's right! I am engaged to the man of my dreams (for real) and have the added luxury of being on the receiving end of his fantasy of dream boy, as well. Lucky we are! And, he has taught me a valuable lesson: Not only do I get to enjoy and co-create one of the most amazing, loving and inspiring relationships I know of, but I now believe in myself that I can really create (co-create) what my heart desires.

Stay with me, check this out: I ran into an old friend who I haven't seen for awhile and upon mentioning my new engagement, he said, "Nick James you truly deserve it more than anyone I know, for you have been talking about true love for as long as I have known you." Wow, what a shock, I have!? I guess so, here's what I got from our conversation: You really can have the life of your dreams, but you have to love yourself enough and believe you can create what you desire and you have all the power you need to do so.

I imagine most of us read that sentence and cringed, knowing we can, but never really giving ourselves full permission to dream big and actualize. So, if you can't believe in yourself, right now, take it from me: You can have and enjoy your heart's desire! I can recall years desiring for true love and now, I get to enjoy him and me to the fullest as I do so from a place of pure appreciation. I will never forget all the nights and days I wished for love and my number one actually came true.

So, if I can create this, what else can I create? And that's the invitation I offer to you! But guess what, here's the catch: You're already demonstrating huge amounts of power to create, you're results are showing you so. So, whether it's true love or the lack of, having millions of dollars or none at all, you're current results are showing you you're current unconscious commitments. Simply own, reclaim, feeling your feelings and re-direct your energy and intentions to what does feel good and what you desire.

I know, at this point, it's no longer enough for me to put anything but love between me and my partner, that same is true with all of my other goals and desires... here is the magic of everyday living illustrated – take the invitation. Simply make a commitment to being excuse-free, to no longer putting anything but love and celebration between you and your heart's desires.

Get In Today!

Have you ever been scared to a point where you pull "The Trump Card?" You know, things are getting a bit sticky and in frustration, rather than going through the fire or learning, you want to throw in the towel?

Recently, I've been given an opportunity to keep a 3-month commitment to a relationship. Yet, in the midst of my fear, I question what I'm doing and my agreement; therefore, never really giving myself a chance to grow or move beyond the problem. It's as if I'm more committed to being stuck, than to being happy.

My sweet partner and I have said yes and agreed to a 3-month commitment to not question our relationship. Yet, it seems like once a week I get scared and rather than growing and getting to better problem, like how can we work through this as a team, I question our agreement and pull my "Trump Card." I say things like, "I don't know if I want to do this anymore." But the catch is, I'm never going to get through the sticky and icky, until I put both of my feet in fully.

Today, I'm in – fully! We have 2-more months and this time I'm more committed to working through our sticky, than to being separate. I have a team player that I've been selling out on for a month – including myself.

The question: How much fun can I have in love with this sweet man?

I heard a story about Will Smith and Jada Pinket. They said at the beginning of their marriage that, "breaking up wasn't an option." That anytime a conflict would occur, they would find creative ways to work through it. That's the sort of life I want to live. Where I find creative ways to work through my issues with my partner. Whether it be in business or life-partner, the key: Commitment.

Get in, today! Be at choice to enjoy the people in your life.

It's Not Your Birthday, So What!

Your day begins...

And did you celebrate yourself for being alive to have a day to begin? This morning, as I got up, I thought to myself, "Today, I have a choice. I can either celebrate my life the way it is today, what I like and don't like, or continue to wait for another temporary fix of external happiness to pacify me until I claim my own happiness, from the inside out. What's it going to be?"

And I share this with you, dear reader:

Are you willing to celebrate yourself today, just as you are?

Are you willing to celebrate "the good" and "the bad" as equals?

Are you willing to celebrate any unwillingness you may have to celebrate?

As you know, life is happening; are you seeing it as life is living you or you are living life? Today, take a couple of deep breaths and throw yourself a 30-second party that you're here, alive and the only thing between you, what you want, what you enjoy and a moment of bliss is yourself. Get out of your way and let yourself shine. Stop being your own shadow and celebrate yourself today - even for a minute.

Does All That Personal Development Pay Off?

Recently, a friend of a friend coined me as a "New Age Nightmare." At first, I felt sad and went to my usual place of "I'm not enough... I need more self-help to improve upon my current character." Well... that's a little exaggerated, but I did take his comment as feedback. Am I really caught up in a world of illusion, like Disneyland, where fun is only a choice away?

As I thought about this... my first response was, "I am creating the life of my dreams!" Yes, I have to admit, sometimes I get a little obsessive about my own personal development, but at the end of the day, are my results showing my hard work is paying off?

In the last two weeks, I can see how 3-years of intense inner-work is starting to pay off. From stepping more fully in my role with LifeWorks to enjoying a conscious, loving relationship with a man I adore, who adores me... looks like I'm doing pretty good. Considering where I was over 3-year ago, I've come a long way, but only until recently have I see physical matches to my inner change.

So, my dear reader... where have you not given yourself enough credit that you're very well on your way to the success of your liking? Where have you, maybe, gotten off track from your vision and life dreams?

Try it on, be willing to give yourself a chance at actually creating what you really want. From experience, looks like a nightmare can be transformed into living the life of your dreams! Choose again.

Where's The Value?

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a cult? I have, just once. Last year, as I was exploring the wonderful world of "transformation," I found myself in the middle of a rather odd group of people, along with their guru and his very deep, philosophical discourse about what real reality really is. Funny huh?

It was interesting, but I was totally bored, because I couldn't understand what the hell he way talking about. It sounded like a great idea, how you can bend reality and unite under the thought of oneness; however, as I translated everything he was saying into measurable results, I couldn't help but to ask, "what's the transformative value?"

At what point can I take this information and make use of it? What's the point? It's great that we get to live in a free country where cult leaders run around recruiting (like Strangers with Candy) hungry spiritual seekers, looking for enlightenment, but at what point does one step back as say, "sometimes, self-help has gone a bit too far."

I ponder this today, as I got invited to a hear some talks from a well-known, teacher. I share this with you to warn you... beware of the cults looking for those seeking a better life. You don't have to go far for that; what you've been looking for is just a mirror away.

Feedback is Just Feedback.

Ironic that after my recent post, Poop with Ice Cream on Top, I ran into a long-time friend who is involved in some "serious" spiritual practices. Upon asking him what he's been up to and after some deep revealing, my dear friend shared with me a lot of people are asking him, "why are you so angry?" Mind you dear reader, my friend, as he so eloquently put it, "is not an angry person!"

So, what's the catch? You got, a big fish story!

My response was simple, "it's just feedback." However, my words fell upon deaf ears, which is not new in the world of Funiverse, but sometimes I do feel disappointed that we often overlook what's right in front of our faces. Of course, this has nothing to do with others, but my own experience; however, I share this with you for obvious reasons: stop overlooking the obvious!

It's just feedback. Whatever is showing up, from your bank account to how your partner responds to you is just feedback. Other examples include: your health, what people say to you, your relationship status, your feelings, how you react and how you spend your time. Everything is feedback, everything!

However, rather than getting curious about what's showing up and seeing if there might be some opportunity to excel, we often get defensive by explaining, blaming, stonewalling, justifying, withdrawing or checking out; therefore, prolonging the learning and lesson until one day life wakes us up with a 2x4.

Here at Funiverse, it's about being willing to be open the fact that you might just be angry... and that's okay! That you can be both spiritual, loving, fun and angry all at the same time, without needing a reason or explanation why... it just is for the time being.

Are you willing to shift out of defensiveness into genuine curiosity by opening yourself to learning from all that is showing up in your life?

I sure hope so! I'd like to see everyone take on the commitment to learning from every interaction and life experience and I feel sad when my friends hide behind of wall of spirituality or democratic pose. Join the fun bus; it's just feedback. In fact, you're the driver!

4 Keys to Having Fun (Part 3 - in Charge)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 2 - in Charge

"I think every individual has his or her own power, and it's a matter of working, taking time and defining what that power is." – Jill Scott

If you have been following me on this safari of exploring the Dynamics of Fun, you would know, it has taken me over a month to report any sort of substantial footage on this tiger. In Charge, is by far the most challenging of the 4-part series to capture, but we’re not out of the jungle yet.

Reporting live from planet earth, this is Nick James sharing with you the dynamics of feeling in charge. Following up the discovery of Curiosity and Competence, in Charge is the next step in evolution on the pathway to having fun. In Charge is about owning your inherent power as a human being and living the commitment of being the source of full responsibility for your life.

In Charge/Control = 100 % responsibility.

In Charge is clever, for at any moment you get to choose whether you’re in charge or not. You, and only you have the power to choose at what point you’re in control. Think about that for a minute! You use choice to choose you’re the one at choice of who is in charge in your choosing, and by result, who is in charge of your life.

In every moment you’re creating and whether you’re willing to be conscious of this or not, is your choice. However, from my experience in the jungle, it is highly recommended that you begin by making a commitment to being 100% responsible for your life, including your happiness, well-being and life goals. For the moment, you finally let yourself be the source of your reality; you expand beyond your previous thermometer of having fun.

Start today with a commitment and see where it takes you, and as my boss and motivational speaker Megan Sillito says, “Surprise Yourself!”

I commit to becoming the source of full responsibility for my life, including my happiness, my well-being and my life-goals actualizing.

4-Keys to Having Fun (Part 2 - Competence)

(A Special 4-Part Series Exploring the Dynamics of Fun)

Part 2 - Competence

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” - Joseph Campbell

A satisfied sense of fulfillment fancies itself upon you when you feel competent in and about yourself. When you feel capable and good about who/what you are, you cultivate a space for fun to flourish in your life.

According to Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs: “…confidence, competence and achievement only need one person and everyone else is inconsequential to one's own success. It may be noted, however, that many people with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept themselves internally.”

When you accept yourself and your life, just as it is today, you become a conduit for success and fun to become an active part of your daily adventures. Your willingness to feel competent and get comfortable with the uncomfortabe will help you build trust in yourself and guide you to having fun and feeling good.

Thus, comfortable with yourself = having fun.

Start here: "Am I willing to love and accept myself, today?"