Enough is Enough

Ever have one of those days, where you feel like a total victim? You know the kind, where it feels like life is unfair and the only thing you feel like doing is to call up a friend and bitch. Well, I say bitch away, but my hope is you're also interested in having a different experience too. A radically new kind of experience where you know that life is your creation and a game to be played. Full out... if you choose to take the invitation.

These moments, I'm speaking about, no matter how "hard" they may seem are perfect opportunities to see where you still feel like you don't have a choice in the matter. The painful moments of life are the times it's most valuable to see where you're still playing small. Where you see the complaints of life as opportunities to commit to something better.

Let me be the first to tell you: You always have a choice. Always! And no matter how "hard" it gets or how "easy" it is to defend your point of view, it comes down to a really simple fact: Stop putting yourself in those situations that cause you the most pain. Stop running into the fist.

Today, I had one of those experiences. And with that, the pain has gotten so intense, that I've had to wake up and ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" And I say, what a great question to be asking. Why? For the simple fact, when we wake up and realize we are the only person that has control over our destiny, we give ourselves a chance to actually have a good life.

Life is good and whether it be love, money or having a fun time, you are always at choice as to how you experience yourself and which situations you put yourself in. Today, I'm doing something radically different, I'm walking away from the situations that cause me the most pain and having a heart-to-heart talk with myself about why I think I'm less than what I really deserve. Today, I commit to seeing what and who deserves my love, attention and affection. Starting with myself.

Today, put down the defense and find enough love in yourself to get more fascinated with the possibilities of life, rather than the dead ends.

Oh My God... Its a Feeling.

Recently, my sweet boyfriend and me, broke up. Yes, I know, heartbreaking right. But check this out: In the midst of my grief process, I've had an awareness that has radically changed my life. In fact, this awareness is so life-changing, I wish to reveal my most vulnerable self and share an insight that I want everyone to know.

I was talking with a friend about why this process has been so challenging. Yes, he was my first true love (and so cute at that!) and the first relationship where I practiced conscious loving, but the real challenge has been taking back all that I've projected onto him. I made him into the classic "knight in shiny armor," the one who was going to rescue me, complete me and make all of my dreams come true.

So, my friend asks me, "Nick, what is so hard about this break up for you?" There's the given, I feel sad because I feel so much love for this person, but in that moment, a wave of fear rushed into my belly. A familiar and deep fear. As I sat with my feelings, I heard the words, "I'll never feel this good about anybody ever again, I'll never have the love I want." (Pop Quiz: At what age, did I make up this story?)

In my recent years, I've discovered that fear is simply a racy body-sensation at the bottom of my belly. A sort of butterflies in the tummy, but with no breath. Here I am, making my life and my dreams of true love about him, but in the process, totally avoiding any fear that might actually keep me from enjoying genuine love in the first place.

I've been unwilling to feel my fear and keep making my dreams, my happiness and my love about someone else. In fact, I realized the fear I felt, talking about "never having the love I want," was exact feeling, the exact fear, that I felt 10-minutes before I met my now, ex-boyfriend.

Funny how that works. So, where am I going with all this?

Often times we do things to distract ourselves from feeling our feelings, making life and love about other people, when it really comes down to a unwillingness to source our feelings in ourselves. If we want good luck in love, we have to be willing to feel the fear that keeps love out.

I've been running around, trying to get others to love me, but I've been unwilling to love myself, all of me, first - especially my fear. I've been creating love and relationships from a place of fear and control, not from a place that I'm already whole and complete. So that whether they stay or go, I'm still here, enjoying myself, as the man of MY dreams.

Today, my invitation: What fear might be keeping you from having the love you want? What feeling might be taking up the space, for the really good things to show up in life? Remember, life always mirrors back to us where we're at, on the inside. Today, take a breath, feel your fear and let somebody love you. Let love stay, feel your fear, today.

From Pity Party to Private Party

Today, I'm having a party, celebrating all of me.

Try it on: Include the dark things that frighten you. The skeleton in your closest is your backbone, time to make a choice to embrace all of who you are or keep just running from love.

Today, I commit to loving myself, deeply. As deeply as I can. The good, the bad, the lonely. No more thinking someone or something is going to rescue me. If you find yourself looking outside for someone to love you or life to change for you to feel good, you might want to grab the biggest mirror you can and get loving the person inside.

Does it ever end?

Does the journey inwards ever end? I have found myself in the midst of drama again, created by me, and yet I say I want peace and love. I think best, in any moment of doubt, just love yourself.

Remaining Loving... no matter what!

Are you ready to take the biggest step towards enjoying a fulfilling life?

Recently I've come upon, what I see as the greatest lesson of all: To remain loving in the face of fear. I discovered this treasure in relationship, but of course, like most life lessons, it applies across the board. Here's the question:

How can you remain loving in the face of your biggest fears?

As you might know, I have a passion for relationships. I think they're fascinating, but sometimes, I'm a bit obsessive and get off track of my intended goal: To enjoy a genuine, conscious, loving and fun relationship with my partner. I get more wrapped up in the details, than that fact that we both want to be together and we're willing to go the distance to find paradise, hand in hand.

So, in the midst of everyday routine and emotional roller coaster, how do you find a stable ground to stand on in relating? You start with love, combined with understanding and compassion. Now, it might sound simple, but in many ways it really is. Whether in relationship to your partner, your job, money, other people or yourself, finding that place in yourself where love exist will give you a foundation to stand on, relate from and use as example, when wanting others to do the same.

I think we could discuss this "problem to solve" for hours, looking at it from many angles, but in the meantime, while life is happening, the important question to be asking: How can I remain loving in the face of fear? My own and others? How can I stay with myself, when I feel abandoned, betrayed or wanting to throw in the towel?

Today, begin with loving yourself. Find that place inside you where you can celebrate who you are, what you've created in your life, and relate to the world from there. Be willing to be surprised how much your partner and life will be more of what you want to enjoy.

Get In Today!

Have you ever been scared to a point where you pull "The Trump Card?" You know, things are getting a bit sticky and in frustration, rather than going through the fire or learning, you want to throw in the towel?

Recently, I've been given an opportunity to keep a 3-month commitment to a relationship. Yet, in the midst of my fear, I question what I'm doing and my agreement; therefore, never really giving myself a chance to grow or move beyond the problem. It's as if I'm more committed to being stuck, than to being happy.

My sweet partner and I have said yes and agreed to a 3-month commitment to not question our relationship. Yet, it seems like once a week I get scared and rather than growing and getting to better problem, like how can we work through this as a team, I question our agreement and pull my "Trump Card." I say things like, "I don't know if I want to do this anymore." But the catch is, I'm never going to get through the sticky and icky, until I put both of my feet in fully.

Today, I'm in – fully! We have 2-more months and this time I'm more committed to working through our sticky, than to being separate. I have a team player that I've been selling out on for a month – including myself.

The question: How much fun can I have in love with this sweet man?

I heard a story about Will Smith and Jada Pinket. They said at the beginning of their marriage that, "breaking up wasn't an option." That anytime a conflict would occur, they would find creative ways to work through it. That's the sort of life I want to live. Where I find creative ways to work through my issues with my partner. Whether it be in business or life-partner, the key: Commitment.

Get in, today! Be at choice to enjoy the people in your life.

I Commit To Being Happy!

Recently, I keep getting this non-stop feedback, I'm not happy with some certain things in my life. Shock, I know, but at first, it was subtle. A sort of whisper about my current situation, but now it's a loud, "wake up!" I have been running around, now, for a couple of weeks, looking for a "good" day-job. You know, the sort of 9-5, with freedom to come and go whenever and making the right amount of money that satisfy your needs?

Well, if not, let me tell you, the first step was taking 100% responsibility for my finances and life. I woke up one day and realized, I'm not on the path I want to be on, I'm not making money in a way that feels good, anymore. So, I'm back to the "daily-grind," looking for work in all the wrong places. But are they?

I would have to say, "yes" and "no." A job is a job, despite how you look at it, but a dream is a dream and making your dreams come true requires a good foundation to work from. I've been living the lifestyle of a rockstar without the record label to back me up. Call me a natural, but ultimately, this week I realized there's more to life than work and money. I've been looking for a job to make me happy, to get my ends met and fuel the career of my dreams. However, I've been doing way to much "doing" and not very much "being."

Today, I commit to being happy.

Today, I commit being happy, so that when I do get a day job, I have things in perspective. My job isn't my life source, I am. The money I make isn't my happiness, I am. Therefore, as I go to my day job, continue to work on the release of my new book and set course to enjoying the life of my dreams, I'm very well prepared by starting today. I commit to being happy!

First and foremost, everything else comes next.

Lead With Love

What would happen if you lead with love and appreciation today?

I imagine there's more to say about it than that, but for now, let's sit with it, or better yet, let's act with it by leading with appreciation and love today in all that we do. I challenge you.

to be continued...

Choice is Power

As you may or may not know, I have been working on my first book since last summer. Nearly complete, this piece of work is a milestone for me as the completion of the book resembles me taking authority for my own independence, both financially and in my vocation as an author, speaker, coach and creative consultant.

I share this with you as I come upon an awareness that will surely reconstruct my world...

I'm 100% responsible for my income, career and success.

Although my "day" job is a fine line between living my genius and supporting others in their career and genius, today I realized, it is time for me to own my own authority around my success, income and choice vocation, for (as you may know) waiting for another person to do it for you (and me) is not being at choice, which is what we're all about here at Funiverse.

Being at choice as to how you experience life. Today, I hope you take your own power back and make it a commitment to being 100% responsible for your success and income:

Today, I __________ commit to being 100% responsible for my income, career and success!

How Much Fun Can You Have?

What if the only problem you ever had was this question:

How much fun and feel good can you have today?

Try it, explore and see if there actually might be a better problem than the bucket full you might think you have.

Let Yourself Have Fun and Be Loved!

Have you ever gotten something you wanted and then later thought it was too good to be true and resisted enjoying it?

For example, you were thinking about wanting a relationship that was out of this world amazing, yet when you actually did get the partner of your dreams, you forgot to trust yourself enough to actually enjoy him or her?

Recently, I got what I wanted. Now, I'm not saying genuine love is like that portrayed in Cinderella or the like, but I'm pretty clear I have created the relationship of my dreams with a man that continues to surprise me everyday. And sometimes, I can't believe my eyes it's happening, in fact, I upper-limit or create reasons why I can't just let go and be loved by him.

Not a bad place to be, but considering that I could relax more and just receive the love I said I have always wanted, now that it's here, I've got another challenge on hand: Allowing myself to finally be loved and love, to address my fear that asks, "Do I deserve this?" or "Why me?"

So, today, ask yourself, "Am I willing to relax and let myself enjoy all the good things I've created in my life?"

You've got what you wanted and are you willing to let yourself enjoy life as it is intended to be - fun?

You can have all that you want and more, and you simply let it in with a little breath, appreciation and enjoyment. In the Funiverse, you get to enjoy yourself and whatever it is you say you want. Give yourself a chance, let all the good things in, like someone who loves you!

If Thoughts Create Things...

If thoughts create things, then what are you creating today?

Have you ever caught yourself in a flurry of worry thoughts about what you need to do or how to generate more money in your life, doing what you love?

I recently heard that the average human think 65,000 per day, but only %5 of those thoughts are brand new and original. Most of what we think (if we're average) is recycled thoughts from yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

So, what are you thinking about today? Make it count!

From Entitlement To Appreciation

I caught myself again. As I was complaining about my current financial situation, I noticed that I was coming from a place of “you owe me!” I’m not sure who the “you” is in that statement, but it was pretty apparent that belief is running the show.

Even more, I’ve noticed this claim to ownership show up in my relationship, time and time again. I get more caught up in the “you should know” and “I deserve/blame-game” than genuine appreciation for how my partner is available, expresses love and cares about me.

So, is this familiar, dear reader?

Have you ever found yourself claiming entitlement for what you want or what you have?

If you’re conscious of it or not, I would get curious. How have you been keeping yourself at arms length from genuine love or financial freedom? Have you fully claimed 100% responsibility for what you do have and your current life experiences? Have you considered appreciation as an option for getting more of the things you say you want?

Today, I commit to appreciating my life as it is, reaching for more from a place of gratitude.

Try it on, you’ve got nothing to lose but to have even more fun.

A Sneak Peek To The ARC Of Freedom!

As you may know, I'm always up to new and creative projects. This time I've joined forces with singer/song-writer and Life Coach Mary Tebbs to form what we're calling The Appreciation Circle... and it's dope! (Dope is slang for really cool).

In my own words, its trend-setting group therapy with a twist, mixed with the latest tools in transformation and The Art of Manifesting. Set up as a community support program, The Appreciation Circle is a demonstration of our commitment to inspiring others to take on life consciously and with joy.

However, during one of my late night walks, last night, I thought of this genius idea that can potentially be a handout (worksheet) for anyone who attends our weekly group... its called The ARC of Freedom, Manifesting and Living Life Joyously. And today, I share it with you, as a sneak peek of the great things to come.

So, are you ready? Hold your britches, this could revolutionize your approach to living!

A - Appreciation - "What can you genuinely appreciate right now or about this moment?"

R - Responsibility - "What is... is, based on results. Are you willing to claim 100% responsibility for finding yourself in this situation and own your subconscious mind revealed?"

C - Commitment - "When you're ready, make a new commitment to what you want."

So, what showed up for you? Did you take the toss? Or did you judge this process and yourself? Did you find one thing to genuinely appreciate in your life, right now? Are you finding it challenging to own the fact that you're here, in whatever situation you’re in? Are you willing to make a conscious commitment to what you want, rather than hoping it'll happen or wandering around waiting for something different?

I end with the words of Gay Hendricks, a riddle for you to ponder today in The Funiverse: "You don't have to dig very deep to see what's in your sub-conscious, for it's showing up all around you." I say, "feel your feelings and make a new commitment, begin with appreciation."

It's Not Your Birthday, So What!

Your day begins...

And did you celebrate yourself for being alive to have a day to begin? This morning, as I got up, I thought to myself, "Today, I have a choice. I can either celebrate my life the way it is today, what I like and don't like, or continue to wait for another temporary fix of external happiness to pacify me until I claim my own happiness, from the inside out. What's it going to be?"

And I share this with you, dear reader:

Are you willing to celebrate yourself today, just as you are?

Are you willing to celebrate "the good" and "the bad" as equals?

Are you willing to celebrate any unwillingness you may have to celebrate?

As you know, life is happening; are you seeing it as life is living you or you are living life? Today, take a couple of deep breaths and throw yourself a 30-second party that you're here, alive and the only thing between you, what you want, what you enjoy and a moment of bliss is yourself. Get out of your way and let yourself shine. Stop being your own shadow and celebrate yourself today - even for a minute.

Does All That Personal Development Pay Off?

Recently, a friend of a friend coined me as a "New Age Nightmare." At first, I felt sad and went to my usual place of "I'm not enough... I need more self-help to improve upon my current character." Well... that's a little exaggerated, but I did take his comment as feedback. Am I really caught up in a world of illusion, like Disneyland, where fun is only a choice away?

As I thought about this... my first response was, "I am creating the life of my dreams!" Yes, I have to admit, sometimes I get a little obsessive about my own personal development, but at the end of the day, are my results showing my hard work is paying off?

In the last two weeks, I can see how 3-years of intense inner-work is starting to pay off. From stepping more fully in my role with LifeWorks to enjoying a conscious, loving relationship with a man I adore, who adores me... looks like I'm doing pretty good. Considering where I was over 3-year ago, I've come a long way, but only until recently have I see physical matches to my inner change.

So, my dear reader... where have you not given yourself enough credit that you're very well on your way to the success of your liking? Where have you, maybe, gotten off track from your vision and life dreams?

Try it on, be willing to give yourself a chance at actually creating what you really want. From experience, looks like a nightmare can be transformed into living the life of your dreams! Choose again.

Did You Forget? You're Alive!

Have you ever forgotten that you're alive? Have you ever been so caught up in the details and dramas of life, only to forget that one day, you aren't going to be here anymore? These questions came to me when trying to describe the M.O. of a couple of people in my life.

I have made a commitment to learning from every relationship interaction, and such, results in learning from those in my world that I don't want to be like. As I was describing to a friend how I felt when interacting with some other friends, I noticed this sort of entitlement over appreciation with them and in that moment, I got the hit: I think they forget that life is a gift. Now, whether that's true or not, I took this awareness as feedback for myself. I get to own my appreciation for being alive and take advantage of the day to express such joy.

And... this is my toss to you:

Are you willing to see life as a gift and appreciate your life, today?

Where's The Value?

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a cult? I have, just once. Last year, as I was exploring the wonderful world of "transformation," I found myself in the middle of a rather odd group of people, along with their guru and his very deep, philosophical discourse about what real reality really is. Funny huh?

It was interesting, but I was totally bored, because I couldn't understand what the hell he way talking about. It sounded like a great idea, how you can bend reality and unite under the thought of oneness; however, as I translated everything he was saying into measurable results, I couldn't help but to ask, "what's the transformative value?"

At what point can I take this information and make use of it? What's the point? It's great that we get to live in a free country where cult leaders run around recruiting (like Strangers with Candy) hungry spiritual seekers, looking for enlightenment, but at what point does one step back as say, "sometimes, self-help has gone a bit too far."

I ponder this today, as I got invited to a hear some talks from a well-known, teacher. I share this with you to warn you... beware of the cults looking for those seeking a better life. You don't have to go far for that; what you've been looking for is just a mirror away.

The Dam Thing is Built... Enjoy it!

How many times have you set out to create something in your life to enjoy a specific quality, only to find yourself working twice as hard for the result you want? How many times have you set out to build a dam to enjoy the result of swimming in the reservoir, only to find yourself still working on the dam and never get in the water?

Have you ever stopped yourself, arm and hammer, and looked up to see if you're project is complete? To see that maybe you have already arrived, at your chosen destination?

"Isn't time that you jump in and enjoy the water?" my sweet boyfriend, Mauricio, said to me tonight as we were discussing the topic of enjoying the things I have already built. More specifically, this analogy was used in describing how I do relationship. But remember: how you do one thing is how you do everything, and boy... did I get that statement today!

I find myself trying really hard and working on things that no longer need me working on, but just enjoying. From relationship to my awesome job, part of me is still on square one, when actually, in the present, I'm on step-10. I find myself trying really hard to convince both my partner and my co-workers that I am worth being here, rather than seeing that they have been telling me that from the beginning: that I'm totally worth playing with.

So, what's the joke? Address the fear of "not being enough, I don't deserve or I'm unlovable" by feeling it openly and fully and then get on enjoying what I've already built for myself. As I am in the process of exploring the other side of The Law of Attraction, this topic of taking pleasure in what is, feels very congruent. What you focus on expands and what you don't own, owns you! So, as I feel my fear and enjoy all the great things I have already manifested, I anticipate my life only getting better.

For you my dear reader, try it on:

1) How have you already created what it is you're seeking, in your life?
2) What fear may be underneath trying so hard in the areas you are?
3) Last, what can you appreciate about yourself and your life today?

Have A Blast Being Spiritual!

The one question often overlooked with those seeking enlightenment or personal development is "how good can you stand it?" Perhaps, the most important question to be asking is often the last to be addressed and falls between the book shelfs of self-help books. Well, why would one be asking such a question? Let's start there.

What does it mean, "how good can you stand it?" How about this: how good can you stand feeling good and for how long? How good can you stand having fun, without distracting yourself with another serious meditation or a process to fix another spiritual riddle? How about we start our conscious journey off right, go for the goal and whatever happens on the way is just part of the process?

I had this insight, one night, while talking to a fellow seeker of conscious living. We were discussing his intentions for this year (2008) and what he would like to experience as a measurable result by the end. However, he kept mentioning his interest in clearing up anything in the way of his ability to be more spiritual. And my next question, "but why?"

What does being more spiritual do for you? And this question I toss to you dear reader: what does being more anything do for you? What does having more do for you? What is the ultimate result? What is the measurable result you want? From work goals to relationship creation, what is the ultimate goal you want to enjoy?

Before asking yourself such questions, maybe take a Saturday night to go dancing and genuinely have a blast and then ask yourself such questions. Ask from a place of already answering them. If you don't like dancing, then try on the following commitment and see if it brings about some revelation. (Especially, you spiritual seekers!)

I commit to having a blast while enjoying my body and the divine!