I feel speechless today. Well... not really, but the writer in me is celebrating some big things and this post is more of a brag than a novel thought.
As of today, I'm officially a published author. The proof for my book came in and I sat with my father over coffee, crying my eyes (he did too - he's so cute). I'M AN AUTHOR! Today, I am celebrating myself and my genius. I'm committed to creating a culture of conscious living and one of the biggest steps I can take towards my dream, happened today.
Also, I'll keep you updated, but next week not only I am going to be doing a book signing/speech for the book (At The Golden Braid - Thursday - Save the Date!), but I'm going to be interviewed about the book and my coaching on Carol Tuttle's Radio Show. How cool is that!? Plus, the following week, I'll be taking over her show and sharing fun with her international audience. I just went big time!
I would love for you to join me in the next couple of weeks for all the cool events I'll be doing, including the launch of my website. There will be some super cool stuff available soon... like The Wizard of Oz e-Course – ain't nothing like it!
8.10.2008
From Default To Design
When you take on having fun full-time, there comes a point when you realize life is a game, a process that looks like going from creating your world from default programming to definite design. Now that might not sound like much, but let me share with you some insight that has truly changed my everyday living experience.
I was talking with my good friend Chris Harris, who happens to be a genius at conscious living and is too, in this discovery process of claiming full responsibility for life. A newer friend in my world, we often discuss our passions for living and dreams of true love. But on this day, we discussed the power of owning what you complain about (or what we're calling, your unconscious commitments.)
This looks like whatever your current results in life are there because, on some level, usually unconscious, you're requiring them, you're committed to them. And until you own them in a warm embrace of love and curiosity, you'll keep living your biggest fears.
Take for example you find yourself complaining about how little money you're making or you have to work at a job you don't like, just to make ends meet. Well, life becomes a blast when you examine your unconscious commitments (or complaints) as what you're currently committed to. And by taking full ownership for your life, the way it is today, you'll free up your energy to put towards what you really want, instead.
Yes, it's easy to defend and say, "no, I really do want money to be easy," or "I really want a relationship with the person of my dreams," but unless you're actually having those experiences, on some level you're not holding space for your dreams to come true. And it's even easier (because of our upbringing) to point your finger outside and say, "look at the economy," or "they just don't want to be with me."
But ultimately, those of us that have grown weary of finger pointing are starting to wake up and realize, we're the common dominator in every situation we experience. That wherever you go, there you are. At some point, you realize there is no where to go and nothing to do (unless of course you feel inspired), but everything you are seeking in life, is right here in this moment.
Until you embrace the fears and limiting beliefs that are taking up the space for you to actually enjoy the money and love you, you'll continue to run around, waiting for your "luck" to kick in. Of course, you could use this information as another reason to beat yourself up and prove you, "haven't figured it out yet," but a simple self-hug of warm tenderness is all thats required for you to have the internal shift, for life to, once again, match you. To mirror back to you, where you're currently holding yourself as an equal to all that you want.
Today, be gentle with yourself, what are your results? Based on that information, what are you current unconscious commitments? Based on that, what limiting beliefs or fear that may want your love and tenderness? Thank the parts of you that are scared, they're just waiting for you to acknowledge them. Besides, it's not like there's shortage of money or love on the planet, just a story that needs to be updated.
Begin with loving yourself for all that you're currently experiencing.
I was talking with my good friend Chris Harris, who happens to be a genius at conscious living and is too, in this discovery process of claiming full responsibility for life. A newer friend in my world, we often discuss our passions for living and dreams of true love. But on this day, we discussed the power of owning what you complain about (or what we're calling, your unconscious commitments.)
This looks like whatever your current results in life are there because, on some level, usually unconscious, you're requiring them, you're committed to them. And until you own them in a warm embrace of love and curiosity, you'll keep living your biggest fears.
Take for example you find yourself complaining about how little money you're making or you have to work at a job you don't like, just to make ends meet. Well, life becomes a blast when you examine your unconscious commitments (or complaints) as what you're currently committed to. And by taking full ownership for your life, the way it is today, you'll free up your energy to put towards what you really want, instead.
Yes, it's easy to defend and say, "no, I really do want money to be easy," or "I really want a relationship with the person of my dreams," but unless you're actually having those experiences, on some level you're not holding space for your dreams to come true. And it's even easier (because of our upbringing) to point your finger outside and say, "look at the economy," or "they just don't want to be with me."
But ultimately, those of us that have grown weary of finger pointing are starting to wake up and realize, we're the common dominator in every situation we experience. That wherever you go, there you are. At some point, you realize there is no where to go and nothing to do (unless of course you feel inspired), but everything you are seeking in life, is right here in this moment.
Until you embrace the fears and limiting beliefs that are taking up the space for you to actually enjoy the money and love you, you'll continue to run around, waiting for your "luck" to kick in. Of course, you could use this information as another reason to beat yourself up and prove you, "haven't figured it out yet," but a simple self-hug of warm tenderness is all thats required for you to have the internal shift, for life to, once again, match you. To mirror back to you, where you're currently holding yourself as an equal to all that you want.
Today, be gentle with yourself, what are your results? Based on that information, what are you current unconscious commitments? Based on that, what limiting beliefs or fear that may want your love and tenderness? Thank the parts of you that are scared, they're just waiting for you to acknowledge them. Besides, it's not like there's shortage of money or love on the planet, just a story that needs to be updated.
Begin with loving yourself for all that you're currently experiencing.
8.04.2008
Enough is Enough
Ever have one of those days, where you feel like a total victim? You know the kind, where it feels like life is unfair and the only thing you feel like doing is to call up a friend and bitch. Well, I say bitch away, but my hope is you're also interested in having a different experience too. A radically new kind of experience where you know that life is your creation and a game to be played. Full out... if you choose to take the invitation.
These moments, I'm speaking about, no matter how "hard" they may seem are perfect opportunities to see where you still feel like you don't have a choice in the matter. The painful moments of life are the times it's most valuable to see where you're still playing small. Where you see the complaints of life as opportunities to commit to something better.
Let me be the first to tell you: You always have a choice. Always! And no matter how "hard" it gets or how "easy" it is to defend your point of view, it comes down to a really simple fact: Stop putting yourself in those situations that cause you the most pain. Stop running into the fist.
Today, I had one of those experiences. And with that, the pain has gotten so intense, that I've had to wake up and ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" And I say, what a great question to be asking. Why? For the simple fact, when we wake up and realize we are the only person that has control over our destiny, we give ourselves a chance to actually have a good life.
Life is good and whether it be love, money or having a fun time, you are always at choice as to how you experience yourself and which situations you put yourself in. Today, I'm doing something radically different, I'm walking away from the situations that cause me the most pain and having a heart-to-heart talk with myself about why I think I'm less than what I really deserve. Today, I commit to seeing what and who deserves my love, attention and affection. Starting with myself.
Today, put down the defense and find enough love in yourself to get more fascinated with the possibilities of life, rather than the dead ends.
These moments, I'm speaking about, no matter how "hard" they may seem are perfect opportunities to see where you still feel like you don't have a choice in the matter. The painful moments of life are the times it's most valuable to see where you're still playing small. Where you see the complaints of life as opportunities to commit to something better.
Let me be the first to tell you: You always have a choice. Always! And no matter how "hard" it gets or how "easy" it is to defend your point of view, it comes down to a really simple fact: Stop putting yourself in those situations that cause you the most pain. Stop running into the fist.
Today, I had one of those experiences. And with that, the pain has gotten so intense, that I've had to wake up and ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" And I say, what a great question to be asking. Why? For the simple fact, when we wake up and realize we are the only person that has control over our destiny, we give ourselves a chance to actually have a good life.
Life is good and whether it be love, money or having a fun time, you are always at choice as to how you experience yourself and which situations you put yourself in. Today, I'm doing something radically different, I'm walking away from the situations that cause me the most pain and having a heart-to-heart talk with myself about why I think I'm less than what I really deserve. Today, I commit to seeing what and who deserves my love, attention and affection. Starting with myself.
Today, put down the defense and find enough love in yourself to get more fascinated with the possibilities of life, rather than the dead ends.
7.30.2008
Oh My God... Its a Feeling.
Recently, my sweet boyfriend and me, broke up. Yes, I know, heartbreaking right. But check this out: In the midst of my grief process, I've had an awareness that has radically changed my life. In fact, this awareness is so life-changing, I wish to reveal my most vulnerable self and share an insight that I want everyone to know.
I was talking with a friend about why this process has been so challenging. Yes, he was my first true love (and so cute at that!) and the first relationship where I practiced conscious loving, but the real challenge has been taking back all that I've projected onto him. I made him into the classic "knight in shiny armor," the one who was going to rescue me, complete me and make all of my dreams come true.
So, my friend asks me, "Nick, what is so hard about this break up for you?" There's the given, I feel sad because I feel so much love for this person, but in that moment, a wave of fear rushed into my belly. A familiar and deep fear. As I sat with my feelings, I heard the words, "I'll never feel this good about anybody ever again, I'll never have the love I want." (Pop Quiz: At what age, did I make up this story?)
In my recent years, I've discovered that fear is simply a racy body-sensation at the bottom of my belly. A sort of butterflies in the tummy, but with no breath. Here I am, making my life and my dreams of true love about him, but in the process, totally avoiding any fear that might actually keep me from enjoying genuine love in the first place.
I've been unwilling to feel my fear and keep making my dreams, my happiness and my love about someone else. In fact, I realized the fear I felt, talking about "never having the love I want," was exact feeling, the exact fear, that I felt 10-minutes before I met my now, ex-boyfriend.
Funny how that works. So, where am I going with all this?
Often times we do things to distract ourselves from feeling our feelings, making life and love about other people, when it really comes down to a unwillingness to source our feelings in ourselves. If we want good luck in love, we have to be willing to feel the fear that keeps love out.
I've been running around, trying to get others to love me, but I've been unwilling to love myself, all of me, first - especially my fear. I've been creating love and relationships from a place of fear and control, not from a place that I'm already whole and complete. So that whether they stay or go, I'm still here, enjoying myself, as the man of MY dreams.
Today, my invitation: What fear might be keeping you from having the love you want? What feeling might be taking up the space, for the really good things to show up in life? Remember, life always mirrors back to us where we're at, on the inside. Today, take a breath, feel your fear and let somebody love you. Let love stay, feel your fear, today.
I was talking with a friend about why this process has been so challenging. Yes, he was my first true love (and so cute at that!) and the first relationship where I practiced conscious loving, but the real challenge has been taking back all that I've projected onto him. I made him into the classic "knight in shiny armor," the one who was going to rescue me, complete me and make all of my dreams come true.
So, my friend asks me, "Nick, what is so hard about this break up for you?" There's the given, I feel sad because I feel so much love for this person, but in that moment, a wave of fear rushed into my belly. A familiar and deep fear. As I sat with my feelings, I heard the words, "I'll never feel this good about anybody ever again, I'll never have the love I want." (Pop Quiz: At what age, did I make up this story?)
In my recent years, I've discovered that fear is simply a racy body-sensation at the bottom of my belly. A sort of butterflies in the tummy, but with no breath. Here I am, making my life and my dreams of true love about him, but in the process, totally avoiding any fear that might actually keep me from enjoying genuine love in the first place.
I've been unwilling to feel my fear and keep making my dreams, my happiness and my love about someone else. In fact, I realized the fear I felt, talking about "never having the love I want," was exact feeling, the exact fear, that I felt 10-minutes before I met my now, ex-boyfriend.
Funny how that works. So, where am I going with all this?
Often times we do things to distract ourselves from feeling our feelings, making life and love about other people, when it really comes down to a unwillingness to source our feelings in ourselves. If we want good luck in love, we have to be willing to feel the fear that keeps love out.
I've been running around, trying to get others to love me, but I've been unwilling to love myself, all of me, first - especially my fear. I've been creating love and relationships from a place of fear and control, not from a place that I'm already whole and complete. So that whether they stay or go, I'm still here, enjoying myself, as the man of MY dreams.
Today, my invitation: What fear might be keeping you from having the love you want? What feeling might be taking up the space, for the really good things to show up in life? Remember, life always mirrors back to us where we're at, on the inside. Today, take a breath, feel your fear and let somebody love you. Let love stay, feel your fear, today.
7.28.2008
From Pity Party to Private Party
Today, I'm having a party, celebrating all of me.
Try it on: Include the dark things that frighten you. The skeleton in your closest is your backbone, time to make a choice to embrace all of who you are or keep just running from love.
Today, I commit to loving myself, deeply. As deeply as I can. The good, the bad, the lonely. No more thinking someone or something is going to rescue me. If you find yourself looking outside for someone to love you or life to change for you to feel good, you might want to grab the biggest mirror you can and get loving the person inside.
Try it on: Include the dark things that frighten you. The skeleton in your closest is your backbone, time to make a choice to embrace all of who you are or keep just running from love.
Today, I commit to loving myself, deeply. As deeply as I can. The good, the bad, the lonely. No more thinking someone or something is going to rescue me. If you find yourself looking outside for someone to love you or life to change for you to feel good, you might want to grab the biggest mirror you can and get loving the person inside.
7.08.2008
Field of Dreams
Recently, I realized my number one wish in life is to play ball with another man in a genuine, conscious, lasting, loving, fun and fulfilling relationship. However, today, I see that I still need to build my field.
In the last year, through many situations, I've been playing on dirt, thinking a good ball game is what I've been doing, but really I've only been distracting myself from building the field of my dreams. I've been playing in a sandlot, wishing my stadium was building itself.
Today, I toss to you: What is it going to take for you to build the field of your dreams? Where have you gotten off track, playing ball in an empty, unbuilt lot? Today, what do you need to do to pick up the shovel and start laying your foundation?
When you build it, they will come. Faith is a good friend to have.
In the last year, through many situations, I've been playing on dirt, thinking a good ball game is what I've been doing, but really I've only been distracting myself from building the field of my dreams. I've been playing in a sandlot, wishing my stadium was building itself.
Today, I toss to you: What is it going to take for you to build the field of your dreams? Where have you gotten off track, playing ball in an empty, unbuilt lot? Today, what do you need to do to pick up the shovel and start laying your foundation?
When you build it, they will come. Faith is a good friend to have.
6.18.2008
Does it ever end?
Does the journey inwards ever end? I have found myself in the midst of drama again, created by me, and yet I say I want peace and love. I think best, in any moment of doubt, just love yourself.
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